First two weeks of boot camp...

How's the happy couple? Well, I'd say we are just peachy. Christian Left for marine boot camp in San Diego California exactly two Mondays ago. It's been a really hard adjusting to being all alone and not having anyone to talk to, not to mention the 10-14 letters already sent that he still has not received. I swear the postal service has never given me a problem, but if my mail hasn't reached him by now...we have a serious problem.
My routines seem to be etched into stone. Mondays-Thursdays I wrote letters and send them out, Friday Saturday and Sunday I write and send on Monday. Tuesdays and Thursdays I nanny for my mom while she finishes pharmaceutical grad school, David Eden and Amberly. Three very different personalities and problems to bring to the table. When I'm not nannying or writing letters...which are also journal entries, I'm sewing a baby quilt. I've now completed three sets of baby booties, and three sides of a quilt. Then I need a receiving blanket, and then I need to get on making Christmas stockings for Christian me and the baby. Then I need to make Christian a congrats you graduated bootcamp you're a marine now quilt and plan the menu and activities for when Christian comes home. We have to celebrate Halloween, thanksgiving, and Christmas in a matter of two weeks. Then he's off to combat training for another three or so weeks.
I think the hardest adjustment I've had to deal with, well there are many actually, but going from seeing him every day and sleeping next to him at night and feeling safe...to waking up to a cold side of the bed, missing him so much I've become delirious and hear his voice, see him walk past the door, smell his cologne, and wake up after such vivid dreams that I roll over and expect him to still be there. I have probably cried more in the past two weeks, then I did all middle and high school being picked on, elementary years having to adjust to living in Utah and not having any friends, and my parents divorce. Don't believe me? A roll of toilet paper a day is about as much as I cry. I've had to wash my pillows four times because the fabric was so tear stained and snot soiled that it didn't hardly look like a pillow case. I haven't worn makeup the past month because anything set me off crying. I have to keep toilet paper near my bed at all times, and when I fall asleep I wake up with salty crusties running all over my face. I've taken a bath or shower a day to wash off my tear soaked shame and ended up sitting in the bath under the pouring shower water sobbing just wishing that I didn't feel so alone. I haven't hardly been able to drive, because the new car we bought was one that Chris wanted more than I did. So driving it and not having company sucks. Listening to any music at all that Chris or I have listened to whether on the road or from my computer sets me off sobbing again... Well you get my point.
The only things that have been able to somewhat distract me from my thoughts of misery and utter and total dispair has been the Friday that Ashley Taylor and I went out on the town for a night. Olive Garden, a walk around city creek and then a visit to the temple and a gelato shop. The only good thing that's happened in two weeks, was that night.
Whoever says that working out keeps you busy so you can't think is full of crap. Just saying. When I'm walking(waddling) on the treadmill the only thing I'm doing is thinking. And the blood pumping makes my brain think faster. So I think twice as much as I would if I were to just wallow and cry all day long. Cooking also is a way to sure stay busy and focus on something else...like gaining a lot of weight which I've always struggled with which then makes me cry. Reading is a joke. The first six decent books I found that I went to read we're about a girl who's fiancé was in the military and got sick and died before they could get married...not the best story line to keep me distracted. Movies...yeah dear John is on the top of my never to watch again list. Same with Pearl Harbor. Terrible things to even think of watching when you're alone and miserable. Doing crafts...they all somehow revolve around him. Baby blanket for our son, a quilt for my husband, Christmas stockings for our family,........I need help. The only advice that has been good advice, is to think of him let the tears fall and move on through the day. Well signing off, baby stopped kicking and I'm ready to sleep until next spring.

Married life: our first three months

Being married has been quite the ride. I'll tell ya. From being forced to move from my house to an apartment while still on my honeymoon...that's rough. Then with work being tough and times being hard as they always like to be we have noticed that me being pregnant and sick is costing us. We've had our ups and downs but it's been a scary new experience.
Then with some recent news and Christian being out of work, due to salary shortages in the company, caused a great deal of distress as we struggled to know what to do. After a few days of hard thought and contemplation Christian and I figured it would be best to have him get into a career...the marines. The overall thought is daunting, moving around the country after Christian graduates boot camp with a brand new baby is just one of the daunting tasks. Dealing with him being gone is another strenuous mountain to climb.
I am definitely grateful to have support. Without both of our families trying to help us out and our relatives guiding us through the military lifestyle, we would have more struggles than either of us could handle.
One thing that keeps both of us same, though it's mostly Christian, is the thought that he is sacrificing his time and life for our baby. He has worked harder than anyone I know and I've never seen him fall and not get back up. He is so determined to bust his butt to prove that he is worthy of me or our baby that I've watched his whole dedication to the marines be fueled by us. Sometimes I see flashes where he's freaked out. Whether by things in the past that come up and ruined our lives, or by the thought of losing me when he is gone to boot camp.
All I know is I love him more than anything, and I am trying my hardest to be my best for him.

The past two weeks

so ive decided that things are just not going my way Christian and I have been engaged almost seven months. We have had our ups and downs over the year and two weeks we have been dating. I am so proud of him. I've watched him grow so much since we first met three years ago. This year has been a trial hardy year. We have struggled with school and jobs and have had many dreams change and many get crushed under the feet of others. Currently we both are in program's that will give us better jobs. An emt and a dental assistant. We have learned so much and have been inseparable. Every day since November we have spent time together. The bond between us we feel. We feel the strength we have together, and the uncertainty and weakness when we are apart. We have had fallings out with friends and have made new ones together. It's been an amazing year. The family loves him...all eight of my family members. Mom Ryan becca Daniel Emily David Eden and amberly. The babies adore him. It's so cute to see their sweet countenance change the anxiety in chris's stature. He completely relaxes and plays with a total carefree way. Chris spent last week swimming in our pool for the first time. He loves it. I see the stress just leave when he is with us. He considers our house his home. He considers our family HIS family. He is so loving and sweet. Just two days ago we spent the most amazing day together. Found out where his station was for his ambulance ride along. Then we got a smoothie and went to bell canyon to hike. The serenity and beauty took my breath away. Seeing him so carefree crossing the raging river to the other side and dance like a goof once on the ground. We hiked for a few hours and then headed home. After getting the dogs up into the bed of the truck we went to ryans baseball game. They won! Ryan #12 is doing way good. He was frustrated a few times but they won. When chris and i got home and went shopping for mom I watched chris get so frustrated when we lost one thing after another. First my phone then his keys. He was so distressed. Id never seen someone get so worked up over a phone or keys before. I mean I freak out occasionally because the phone and keys are kinda important to have on us and not lose. He practically tore the car apart. He ran frantically around looking. Then after he had finished freaking out when he found his keys he was so embarrassed he didn't hardly look me in the face. I could see the embarassment all over his face. I felt so bad. I've never seen someone look so embarrassed and ashamed at having someone see him not be all together and perfect. He is so sweet and good to me. He amazes me every day with how well he treats me and my family. I can't wait to marry him! He is everything Ive ever wanted. Can't believe how at the end of the day things turn out all right.

WOW it's been sooo long since i've been on.

Sorry to keep you all in the dark. It's been...some seriously crazy months.
So recent update of our summer. The T family, has been busy traveling to St. George, San Diego Cali, Idaho, and East Utah to the Ranch. It was the prettiest most peaceful place I think I've ever been. There are like no people living there, there are horses and thousands of acres of green silence. No cars, no noise, no cell service. It was amazing. Not having to worry about what the world was doing while I was on the horses. River Rafting...I don't suggest doing unless you have can after can of bug and mosquito spray...you seriously need it. Other than that it was four wheeling, horseback riding, dancing, singing, and just soaking in the tranquility.

Once home we all had only like a week to prepare for school.

First week of school for the T family = mother "don't ask" me..."hot boys again!" Ryan "mhem it was fine" Becca "OMG so i totally love seventh grade, but i still don't know how to like, totally like open my locker, cuz it's like so confusing...etc" Daniel "Can I play my X-box now?" Emily "I have like so many friends, way more than like Ashley does...etc" David and Eden "..." i didn't get much out of them on how they handled the first week.

There is so much though in the week. Ryan and I have Voice lessons on monday, I have tutoring monday and saturday, horseback riding on fridays (two and a half feet baby!), Special needs on Thursday, and serious studying time every other minute. Ryan and Daniel, football all week. Becca and Emily Macs Cheer Tues day and Thursday, David and Eden...stay home and do whatever they want. Eden has now decided that going up the stairs is fun, but the whole point of getting down...is a bonk or two...Cole our faithful puppy is doing good, I really can't believe he's all grown up. I feel bad with being gone at school 7 hours and not seeing him, and him being all alone. I'll probably buy another big dog for him. He's a part of the family, and he doesn't deserve to ever be left alone or left behind. *Lilo and Stitch*

I've had really random tendencies to sing random disney songs when people say certain things in the halls. I just...break into song. People look at me like I'm semi nuts, but hey it's alright. At least i'm not a cheerleader this year. Thank heavens otherwise i'd be failing all my classes already and it's almost a full two weeks in.

I've decided i'm going to find a way to give mom time to make me a college easy recipes that i love, since i'm the most picky vegetarian child ever...though i really am excited to be a Junior this year...so weird I should be a senior.

Other than that our family is just busy busy busy, we are heading up to the cabin... Wish you could come with us ASH! Hopefully we'll be able to bring the Dogs. It'll be good to have Them up there with us. It'll be a good distraction...and i need to make that rocket for physics...well i'm off for the night. Hope to see more of the H.O.L.E.S (Hand of the Lord Easing me to Success). So far this year has been good grades and crushes. Homecoming is in two weeks. No ones asked me yet but even if they don't I have two years of ten dances each year to be in. I'll be asked to one of them.

Also, I've been friends with this one guy who I think may change my life. It's a feeling I don't understand. He's different. Maybe I won't be alone anymore.